Friday, October 29, 2010

Adoption - Day 93

Boo!

I scared you, I know I did. Awww Halloween. My fifth favorite holiday of the year. That may not sound like much but the fifth spot is a very high place of honor. It's that last holiday I list before I whip out my other hand and move onto labor day, valentine's day, national tortilla chip day and national pecan day.

I love the fall, especially October, which is really the reason I haven't written a stitch this month. I've been soaking up the beautiful colors and festivities that fall has to offer. Things I love like reading, making headbands and cleaning my house to gospel music have been shifted to the back-burner while I delve into the wonderment that is fall. Like diving into a big pile of crunchy leaves you just raked up. What's not to love about fall? Crisp, foggy mornings, apples, rain boots, vivid colors, raindrops pounding the roof, pumpkin patches, birds flying south, pumpkin spice lattes, pulling out the warm duds from the attic, wearing a scarf for the first time in 6 months. Ohhh I just love it.

The only downfall about October is that it's followed by November. And November, for me, is when my absolute busiest (I mean crazy-busy) season ramps up at work. I usually start to feel it about the last week of October, and this year has been no exception.

Apart from work and my obsession with fall, there is just a few exciting things to update on the adoption front. The one thing that hasn't change is that, yes, we are still waiting on the FBI to process our fingerprints. This is week 10, so it should hopefully be in the next week or two that gets completed. But given the events of today's news and terror threats, I'm thinking our fingerprints may just fall to the bottom of the bin of importance.

But the exciting news is that we have been blessed immensely on the financial front. Coming into the adoption process we knew that it was going to take faith, patience and sacrifice to raise the mound of cash required to bring baby Ainley home. We've been blessed by some generous giving and we have also been pleasantly surprised by the random wads of cash God seems to sneak into our bank account completely out of the blue. Without going too much into the details, let's just say that we are 93 days in and we have raised just over 42% of the funds needed! It's incredible, absolutely incredible, to think as each day passes we receive more and more confirmation that this is exactly what God had in mind for us.

Now, we realize we still have quite a bit to go, but considering the pattern of things, we will keep moving forward, knees coiled, ready to jump for joy at the next blessing coming our way. We are ever so grateful for God's goodness throughout this process. I am especially thankful recently as I have had to dig in deep to discover God's love for me all over again as I battle with the self-doubts, depression and the grief of infertility. Each time I dig deeper, I'm never disappointed. God always meets me there and says, "It's okay. I understand. I know you're hurting and I know it's not fair, but you need to believe that I love every fiber of who you are and I created you just as you are. Now come into My embrace and let Me love you. Rest and be at peace as I work My perfect plan for you life. Trust me, you will be amazed."

So, I'm resting. It doesn't make the hard things easy, but with each wave of pain and grief is a sufficient dose of grace with a little side of blessing sauce to go with it. I'm resting in my big pile of crunchy fall leaves with my attic-scented scarf and pumpkin pie latte, as I soak in the beauty of this season and the beauty of God's plan He is weaving right before my very eyes.

Ciao!




















Photo Courtesy: Joanie Cahill