Friday, September 24, 2010

Adoption - Day 58

Note: I have updated our Paypal button to the right. Should be working now. Thanks!!

I suppose it is about time to give an update on the adoption process. I haven't had much to update about for the past month or so, primarily because we've simply been waiting for our fingerprints to come back. So here's where we are at:

We just had our second home-visit yesterday, which will be the final one until the post-placement. We are waiting on FBI fingerprints, as I mentioned, and the fingerprints have been in the FBI's hands for 5 weeks as of Tuesday (9/21). I called in to see if there was any update and all they could tell me is that the process time is 10-12 weeks and there isn't anything more to it than that. So, we're just about to the halfway point on waiting for the fingerprints to be returned. We should have the fingerprints back by the beginning of November.

We are also waiting on a few references and a few more paperwork items to be completed, which should be wrapped up in the next few weeks. We also have online courses to complete (10 total hours) of which we have finished 1 course (2 hours). We will finish those courses over the next month.

Once the fingerprints come back, our case worker, Mike, will do an official write-up of all the documents we have submitted and will send us about a 12-page document summarizing all of the information you could ever possibly want to know about us Ainleys. I'm sure it will be a riveting read. We then take a look, make any corrections, he makes the corrections, we give it one more once-over and then VOILE! The official home study is complete and will be submitted to the adoption agency (An Open Door).

I contacted our rep at the agency to answer a few more questions and nail down time frames. Once the home study is submitted, she accepts the application that same day, or within a few days. This then places us Ainleys on the waiting list. Yay!

We will be waiting to be matched with a birth mother. We could be matched as quickly as a few weeks, or up to several months. We get matched with a mother in her seventh month or later, which is just crazy to think about. Once we get that exciting phone call, we have two-ish months to wait until baby comes home...at the MOST!

We are so excited we can hardly stand it. We know that patience is a virtue and one that we will have to spend a great deal of time pursuing over the next 6+ months. They have told us that the average wait time from acceptance to placement of a baby in the home is approximately 6-9 months. So, we will be accepted into the program around Thanksgiving, giving us an "average" placement period of May - August 2011. Of course, we could always have that option where they call us and say..."A mother just gave birth and would like to adopt their baby out, would you like to consider this child?" That would bypass all averages and standard wait-times and is certainly a possibility.

So that's where we are along in the process. As for the personal things we are doing in preparation, I have begun drafting up ideas for the nursery. Most of you know we are going to do a french-vintage-whimsy themed nursery. I've posted some photos at the bottom. It all began with a stork my mom purchased for our future nursery 2 years ago.

We are also in the process of brainstorming ideas to raise funds. I have now added a "donate" button to my blog to the right margin. If anyone feels inclined to give, that would be the place to. All funds donated will go directly into the donation account set up at IQCU. We want to say thank you, in advance, for everyone's support, both financially and spiritually/emotionally. This is such a wonderful experience, and we are just enjoying the ride God is taking us on. It's not without strife and certainly not without hardship, but it is difficult to end each day without joy seeping in, reminding us of the little bundle coming our way.

We know that this must be God's plan and that it must be something really special and so good, because already I have felt the attacks that only come from Satan. I've had to fight the times of feeling inadequate, self-doubt, defeat, pity, insecurity and unworthiness. I have confidence that this is just one of the many blessings God has for us and it is most certainly His plan. That little baby out there is going to be loved to pieces and we just can't wait to meet him or her. There isn't an ill thought out there that could possibly squash this kind of anticipation, joy and honor.

Thank you, again and again, for all your support and for believing in us through this process. Your encouragement has not gone unnoticed. My soul eats it up like a hungry bear. It helps when the self-doubting, uncertain, defeating thoughts come haunting me.

Before I go, I wanted to leave you with a little story. I went in to Gymboree with my mom a few weeks ago and we couldn't help ourselves. We found some outrageously cute clothes that we had to scoop up. My mom took the clothes to the register and was chatting with the sales lady while I grabbed one more thing. As I approached the register, the lady says, how exciting for you, when are you due!?

I gasped and nearly burst into tears. I explained that I was adopting, so my due date is sort of on a sliding scale. It will be a surprise. They were all very excited for me and wished me luck. As I exited the store I teared up, not because I was sad, but because it was the first time anyone had ever asked me such a question. Something inside of my heart lurched forward and starting ticking. Like my "momma" time finally began. It didn't hit me that I am actually going to be a mother until that moment. I was thrilled and overwhelmed all in one. I may not have this baby growing inside of me, no matter how desperately I wish I did, but I deeply long for this baby. He or she is woven into the fabric of my life and I just can't wait to start each day looking into this baby's eyes and telling him or her how much of a precious gift he or she is.

That's all for now friends.









Saturday, September 11, 2010

Confessions of Ashley de Ainley

I just finished reading "Confessions of Catherine de Medici" by C.W. Gortner and I felt that perhaps I, too, would jot down a few confessions of my own.

Confession #1: I hate sharing milk

It's not that I hate sharing milk in general, it's that I find it disgusting to share a glass of milk. This has been something I've struggled with most of my life. I would rather abandon a full glass of milk than suffer the grotesque milk residue left by my milk-sharing companion.

Confession #2: I hate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

It's like America's past time, and still I don't care for it. It's the classic quick and easy lunch for picnics, hikes, walks and low food budgets, but still I don't budge on my stance.

When I was four years old, my brother and I had two pet lizards. My mother didn't care much for them since she wasn't a fan of purchasing crickets for their tasty delight. We would always go to the local pet store and pick up a Chinese to-go food box filled with crickets.

One afternoon, after being picked up from school, my dad inquired about whether I had finished my lunch. I said I had, though I still hid my uneaten PB&J sandwich in my lunch pail. As soon as I got home, I devised a plan to offer to throw away the emptied cricket box and fill it's empty remains with my discarded sandwich. It was genious. Worked like a charm until I was hungry well before dinnertime without a solid explanation. I swear I wasn't that devious a child, this just happens to be a memory that has stuck with me.

Confession #3: I am long-winded

I'm not sure anything needs to be said about this. Though, in lieu of the subject, I must elaborate. Oh, wait, nevermind.


Confession #4: I am a sucker for traveling salesmen

Yes, it's true. I had no idea I had this weakness until I became a homeowner. On a sunny Saturday afternoon a vacuum traveling salesman stopped in to showcase a Kirby vacuum system. I had no interest and thought it was completely unreasonable the price they were asking. Yet, somehow after he cleaned our entire home with this out-of-this-world vacuum, I found myself nodding my head signing the dotted line. Now, let's just say that we spent more on that vacuum than I did on my wedding gown. I know. Insane. And this wasn't my only moment of weakness. You would think I would have learned after nearly signing away my first born for a machine. Yes, there have been other unfortunately purchases over the years. It's like something happens, I become hypnotized and incapable to say no. So, if this is your profession, don't be offended if we never have you over for dinner. It's my husband protecting me from doing something I'll regret.

Confession #5: I have been ignoring my husband while I wrote this

So, I should probably get to enjoying what is left of this beautiful September Saturday.


Ciao!


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Ode à mes tomates vertes

My tomatoes are green and fall is around the corner
If they don't turn red soon I'll transition to mourner
They've been watered and fed and bathed in sunlight
But they still hang all green and skin far too tight

I perused my fair fruit today in the cool showers
They sagged and seemed hearty but too filled with flowers
It's too late, I cried, too late for new blooms
The sun is leaving, bringing on the monsoons

Oh, my poor tomatoes, so young and naive
It was I, the planter, who had to believe
That these tiny little plants, so small, so frail
Could one day turn plump and fill a full pail

But, alas, it's nearly fall and all I can see
Is green, verte, grün, staring right back at me
So, here's to mes tomates vertes on the vine
On your juicy, red bodies I wish I could dine