Adoption - Day 240

Greetings all.

Well, we heard back from our adoption agency today regarding the mother who is pregnant with a baby girl and is due on April 25th. She chose another family just this week.

It's reasonable to say I'm disappointed and it's easy to allow the "Why not me" flurry of questions to swarm my thoughts, but when I got in the shower this morning, I kid you not, God gave me a gift of a song to encourage me. I was hoping to be able to share the song with my playlist, but it doesn't seem to be up on playlist.com. Here are some of the words:

"Before you let your circumstance tell you how the story ends. Know that His word says you can stand. He'll cover you with His grace. Everything you need is in your hands, so lift up your hands and sing... All things are working for me. Even things I can't see. Your ways are so beyond me. But you said that you would, let it be for my good. So I'll rest and just believe. The truth is He cannot lie, I'm in His hands and I'm on his mind, promised me He'd always be there, so by faith He will answer my prayer"

I tell you what. I sure don't see how this is going to pan out. I have no idea how long we will have to be patient. What I do know is that in moments when I feel disappointed, my faith with remain and I will trust that all things, all things are working for my good. So, if that means I'm going to need to be patient for a year, two years, I'll do it. Doesn't mean it won't hurt like crazy. It just means I won't have to go it alone.

I also really like this Rich Mullins song (I know, old school) that has a lyric that says "People say maybe things will get better. People say maybe it won't be long. People say maybe you'll wake up tomorrow and it'll all be gone. I only know that maybe just ain't enough when you need something to hold on to. There's only one thing that is clear. I know there is bound to come some trouble to [my] life. But that ain't nothing to be afraid of. I know there's bound to come some tears in [my] eyes...just reach out to Jesus, hold on tight. He's been there before and He knows what it's like. [I'll] find He's there."

Yep. That's what I have to say today. Call me preachy, but in my pain and in this struggle and longing to become a mother, I cannot help but shout from the rooftops what keeps me optimistic, what keeps me going, what lifts me up.


On another note, there are some anti-abortion laws that are on the move. HALLELUJAH! (See news story here). I can't help but rejoice when the murder of innocent victims is re-evaluated by our government and progress is made to end thoughtless slaughter.

And...on another note. I got some fabric for the curtains in my bedroom. I am thrilled about them! I've posted photos below of what's to come. Now to sew them. :)

Sorry so heavy today, folks. Not my normal skippity doo dah self, I suppose.

I'm sure next time I will have a more upbeat post about SPRING! Because I love spring! More things to come.

AA