A sunny day came swooping in this weekend and it lifted my spirits so high, so high I could fly. Like a bird in the sky. I know you won't believe this, but I came up with that little diddy on the spot. Yes, I can send you a personalized photograph with that lyric if you want.
It's nearly summer and I really must say that I couldn't be more pleased with the season ahead. I've always been a lover of the rain, but it's simply become too much of a good thing. My mood seems to shift when the weather continues to drone on and on in its boohoo-woe-is-me kind of way.
But, enough about the weather. I don't have any news. So, ya'll can check out now while I emotionally vomit into my blog. :) No, really, I don't have much to say other than we are still waiting for the good news to smack us in the face. We've had a lot of people ask about the possibility of switching agencies. I think our friends are getting impatient, too. The truth is, we may consider looking at more local agencies just to keep our options open, but we aren't ready to jump ship from our Georgia agency. We are still well within their average range to be matched of 3-6 months. We are in our 4th month of being on the waiting list, so we don't have a thing to complain about in that sense.
I will say this, I have been tested quite a bit lately–emotionally, spiritually and physically. It's as if there is this unseen war waging and my attitude and my hope are at stake. I have had a number of things test my ability to continue to trust God's plan and His ultimate care of my heart and my dreams. It is in times like these that I am so thankful I have hidden the truth in my heart to thwart any attempts to bring me down and cause me to give up. I know He cares. He isn't picking on me.
It's interesting, actually. God has been using unique ways to remind me of that very thing, that he cares deeply for me. Just yesterday I was teaching Sunday School at my church and the lesson was on Moses. More specifically, it was about his mother. She took an incredible leap of faith by crafting a waterproof basket, placing her 3-month-old son into the basket and then letting him drift down the Nile river in hopes of keeping him safe from the slaughter ordered by Pharaoh. It's incredible thinking about the courage of this mother and the indescribable pain it must have caused to submit her son to the currents of the Nile. Of course, she knew she wasn't leaving him in the hands of the Nile alone, she trusted that God would take care of him and watch over him. She trusted God with her most precious gift. As the story goes, Moses ends up becoming a regular biblical superhero.
It was a nice reminder for me that I need to do just that. Although I do not have a physical child to hold and let go of, I have to approach this process in a similar way. The process is not mine to control. Just like this mother couldn't control the currents of the Nile, I can't control the timing of a baby coming into our lives. On a daily basis I give it my best effort, but realize that I am powerless. God has this thing completely mapped out. It's a hard truth to swallow when I see fertility blessing my friends abundantly around me. But it is what I cling to. I posted this on my Facebook a few weeks ago and applied to circumstance I still deal with today, but it remains true in every area. You could just as easily swap out grief for hardships or confusion...
Today it is hope that is my anchor. I surely do not understand why grief washes up on the shores of my heart, but I am confident of this: My Jesus delights in me and he will grant me peace. I have cast all my nets into the sea of the unfailing, unceasing love of Christ.
Thanks, as always, for tuning in. I wish I had more exciting news to give you. Hoping that I get to soon. For now, I'm going to enjoy the sunshine peeking through my window.
AA
PS - I WILL have a posting about canning coming up, because it's been a while since I posted a non-adoption-related posting. And, for goodness sakes, I'm not all doom and gloom around here.
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